DOGGY SPECIAL #1
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine.  If you kill it, we’ll grill it.  If you run it down, we’ll fry it up.  Strategically located two blocks from the pound.  This month’s special is free hushed puppies with every entree.  If you’d like to order one of our cookbooks, such as “Eatin’ with the Vultures” or “101 Ways to Eat a Hot Dog,” please leave your name, order, and information after the beep. 

DOGGY SPECIAL #2
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. If you kill it, we grill it. Strategically located two blocks from the pound. This month’s special is free hush puppies with every entree. So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant whose food has bite. If you are interested in ordering two of our most popular cookbooks, “Canine Cuisines” or “Frying up Fido”, Please your name, address, and information after the beep.

ROADKILL-ON-THE-RUN DELIVERY
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. Where if you kill it, we grill it. We’ve made it easier for you to eat our delicious cuisine with Roadkill on the Run. That’s right. Just call it in and we’ll grill it up on the way, because we put the tail in the tail gate party. 

RODENT ROUND UP
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine.  Where if you kill it, we grill it.  Because of a rat infestation and other critter related health code violations during our last inspection, the state has threatened to shut us down.  But not to worry, because we made a deal with ’em.  We have one month to git rid of all the critters, so come on down and chow down on our extensive rodent cuisine.  We have everything from Rat Burgers to Portobelo Rodent.  We’ll even let you choose you own right off the floor.  So come on in and bring the whole family to Rodent Round Up at Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine.

VALENTINE’S DAY
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. Where if you kill it, we grill it.  This Valentine’s Holiday, to show our sensitivity to all our non-meat-eatin’ friends out there, we’re serving something for them, the To-Fu Fondu Platter, served up in an armadillo shell.  So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant that brings a double meaning to fresh off the grill.

ST. PATRICK’S DAY (in an Irish Accent)
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. If you kill it, we grill it. This St. Patricks Day, don’t just go for the gold. After, you’ve got his riches, bring that pesky leprechaun to us. We’ll cook him up right, marinated in Guinness. So come on in to the restaurant where we make sure a leprechaun dies happy.

EASTER
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. If you kill it, we grill it. Are you wonderin’ what to do with that pesky wabbit after the Easter Holiday? Well bring it in to us and we’ll serve you Rabbit Stew or any of our other specialties such as Bug Bunny Burgers or Peter Cottontail Pot Pie. So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant that resurrects your favorite dish. 

HALLOWEEN #1
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine, you kill it we’ll grill it. You run it down we’ll fry it up. Worried about them cursed cats crossing your path this Halloween? Well don’t let them be bad luck anymore. Just splat that cat and give it to our chef and he’ll bake you a batch of black cat casserole. So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant whose food’s always purrfect.

HALLOWEEN #2
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine, you kill it we’ll grill it. You run it down we’ll fry it up. 
Now serving our Halloween Specials, Mystery Goulash, Whipped Werewolf, and Barbecued Bats. So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant That assures its customers a howling good meal.    

THANKSGIVING
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine, You kill it we’ll grill it. You run it down, we’ll fry it up. 
Instead of getting tired of turkey this Thanksgiving, get turkey from the tire by trying our Gravel Gobbler Platter. So come on in and bring the whole family to the restaurant that gives thanks every day for the invention of the wheel.

CHRISTMAS #1
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine. If you kill it we grill it. Now featuring our seasonal special Rotisserie Reindeer and elf eggrolls. If you would like to order one of our top-selling recipe books: “Cookin’ up Roadside Wonders” or “The Chicken who didn’t make it across the Road”, please leave your name, number, order, and information after the beep.

CHRISTMAS #2
Scotty’s Roadkill Cuisine.  If you kill it, we’ll grill it.  If you run it down, we’ll fry it up.  This Christmas holiday, come on in for our annual yule tide specials, Rotisserie Reindeer and Elf Egg rolls.  If you’d like to order one of our Christmas Cookbooks, “Sauteeing Santa’s Little Helpers” or “Feasting Like the Three Kings,” please leave your name, address, order, and information after the beep.