Scotty's Roadkill

Scotty’s Menu

Thank you for visitin’ us folks.
We have a diverse cuisine that will hopefully satisfy anybody’s hankerin’s.
Don’t be afraid to mull over it before stoppin’ by for a visit.

Appetizers & Wild Sides

Folks, we don’t see any reason to split these up.  You can order any of these as either an appetizer or a side dish, whichever you like.  Appetizers are a might bigger, so you can share with everyone else.  (Most appetizers are $4, Wild sides are $2.)

18-Wheeled Waggers
Brain-Cheese Dip
Cougar Crepes
Crab Cakes
Cow Tongue Nibblets
Crispy Critters

Driveway Droolers
French Poodle Fries
GuacaMole
Hushed Puppies
Pickled Pigs Feet
Roadside Rolls

4 Wheeler Sampler (Pick any four items; one per wheel.) $5

The Cletis Sampler (A sample of all 13 dishes, ’cause Cletis is that good.) $13

As a special thanks to all our law enforcement officers who alert us to fresh roadkill, please enjoy an appetizer on the house with the order of any entree. Just show up in uniform or flash your badge to the wait-staff. 

Soups, Salads, & Pastas

These can all be ordered in either full portions or half portions. 
Just let us know which half of the animal you want. (Full $8, Half $5, Appetizer/Side Portion $3)

Chihuahua Chowder
Goose Goulash
Turtle Soup
Greyhound Gumbo

Frog Fettuccine
Mountain Lion Lasagna
Opossum Pasta
Equine Etouffee

Choked Chicken Caesar Salad
To-Fu Fondu Platter 
     (Served up in an Armadillo Shell)
Tossed (from the Road) Salad

Main Entrees

Our meat arrives fresh daily (sometimes hourly) and comes naturally pre-tenderized thanks to Texas motorists. All entrees come in two sizes, “Normal Folk” ($11) and “Big Bubba” ($14) and are served with your choice of any two Sides along with our Seasoned Monster Truck Mashed Potatoes or our Fully Loaded Engine Block Baked Potato.

CANINE CUISINES
German Shepard Pot Pie
Slab O’ Lab
Trampled Tramp
Backed Over Rover
Blackened Dalmation
Flame Broiled Boxer

CAT CUISINES
Free Range Feline
Puma Platter

FLYIN’ THANGS
Fell out Fowl
Creamed Crow
Not-so-Swift Swift
Narrow Sparrow

RODENT ENTREES
Rat Burgers
Portobelo Roden

LITTLE FOUR-LEGGED CRITTERS
Skewered Skunk
Freeway Ferrets
Crushed Coyote
Rig Mortise Tortoise
Armadillo on the Half Shell
Ran Over Rover

LARGE FOUR-LEGGED CRITTERS
The Happy Heifer Helper
Graveled Goat
Bumped Buffalo Skillet
Baked Bighorn
Stuffed Stags
Grilled Venison
Equine Entree
Sheep Ka-bob
Battered Bear
Pummeled Pork

Don’t forget, that you can always bring in your own meat off the street and we’ll prepare it however you like and for 1/2 the price of a regular meal. 

Now also try our Roadkill-on-the-Run Delivery Service. Call ahead and we’ll pick it up and grill it on the go, in the back of our pick-up truck with a grill built into the bed.

You’ve probably noticed that we keep our prices real simple. You see, we know everyone’s on a budget these days so we like makin’ it easy for you to figure out yer bill; and quite frankly, we like to make it easy for us to figure out yer bill also, so you won’t see any $13.86 crazy pricin’ or even $4.99 pricin’ and all taxes are already included, so what you see on the menu is what you’ll git on the ticket.

Breakfast

Mornin’ meals that weren’t fast enough to miss gettin’ hit but cooked up fast enough for you to enjoy.  Any dish is just $8 with a cup of coffee; glass of orange juice or fresh milk; and a side of grits, oatmeal, cream of wheat, or shreaded tators.  We’ll serve these all day or until we run out.

Lunch Specials

We know you don’t have a long lunch break, so we serve it up quick with our award-winning onion rings or fries, one choice of any side, and a drink all for $8.  Or order a “Normal Folks” portion of any entree during lunch time for the same price.

Children’s Favorites

Our Children’s menu will have your little ankle biter chowin’ down on our meals designed just for their size and for your budget.  All children’s meals come with a drink and any side for only $6 a plate.

Cocker Cookers
Dalmation Danishes
Kitten Kolache
Pigs in Blankets
Flap Jack Rabbits
Mornin’ Dove Dribblets
Cotton Tail & Creme Crepes
Parrot Pancakes

Hot Horse Hoagie
Side Swiped Snippet Sandwich
Squirmin’ Squirrel Sub Sandwich
Gagged Goose Gryos
Street side Tacos
Bullfrog Burritos

Chihuahua Chalupas
Chili Cheese Dogs
Mule Morsels
Pinky Burger
Slice o’ Mice
Tired Turkey Tacos
Squished Quesadillas

Desserts

 If you’re not too full after yer meal, try one of our one-of-a-kind desserts for only $5. We’re pretty sure none of the other restaurants can compete with any of our gourmet treats.

Specialty Drinks

 Let us quinch yer thirst with one of our house specialties. Order any one of our drinks in All-Smiles ($4), Wobbly ($6), or Passed-Out-Under-the-Table ($10). 

Chocolate Moose
Key Lime Pomeranium
Pincher Pie
Cocker Cobbler
Chocolate Grasshopper Ice Cream
Frog Fritters
Fox Flambe
Beatle Baklava

Dingo Daquiris
Kamaikaze Caribou
Maggot Margarita
Mighty Mouse Margarita
Main Street Martini

Mud Puppy Slide
Pit Bull Punch
Smothered Smoothie
Trampled Troubles
Zesty Zoo Sifter

Folks, we highly suggest you have a designated driver with you for our Passed-Out-Under-the-Table sized drinks because Jimbo’s Pinto is in the shop and he can’t give anyone a ride home until he git’s it fixed.

Seasonal Specialties

We can’t offer these items all year, but they sure are great when they’re in season.

NEW YEARS
Last Year’s Hit Sampler ($8)
New Year’s Hit Sampler ($8)
Yule-Tide Runovers ($5)

VALENTINE’S DAY
Cupid Custard ($4)
Chunks of Cherub ($5)

ST. PATRICK’S DAY
Leprechaun n’ Leaks ($8)
Beamered Banshee ($8)

EASTER
Bugs Bunny Burgers ($8)
Peter Cottontail Pot Pie ($8)

HALLOWEEN
Barbecued Bats ($5)
Black Cat Casserole ($8)
Chupacabra Churros ($5) NEW 2022!
Mystery Ghoulash ($8)
Werewolf Wafers ($5)
Whipped Werewolf ($8)

THANKSGIVING
Gobbler Grab n’ Go ($6)
Gravel Gobbler Platter ($8)
Tracked Turkey Platter ($8)

CHRISTMAS
Elf Egg Rolls ($5)
Rooftop Reindeer ($8)
Rotisserie Reindeer ($12)
Slab of Santa’s Helpers ($8)